For those of you who lack an intimate knowledge of the world of hair extensions and weave, let me explain kanekalon: kanekalon is kinky, synthetic, bulk "hair" used for adding braided hair extensions. I'm from Detroit, which is probably the kanekalon capital of the world, and I am well acquainted with this product. Back in the day, during my short lived and ill fated stint in beauty school, I used to spend hours braiding this stuff until my fingers ached for glamor girls on a budget. Everyone I knew did this, and we referred to ourselves as "kitchiticians", because we did hair in our kitchens and weren't licensed cosmetologists.
The other day, at the request of a friend, I was back to my old ways. She was sitting patiently in my kitchen chair while I separated the bulk kanekalon into small braid-sized portions. I could almost do this with my eyes closed, but you have to be careful, or it will tangle up like a Barbie that's been in the bathtub, and you have to throw it out.
I was pulling a clump of the kanekalon loose when it happened. A big, ratty snarl appeared out of nowhere. I held the stuff out in front of me and gently tried to pull it loose without destroying the hair. While I was trying to ease the knot out it hit me: This ratty, nappy nest looked just like the image I had seen of my angiogram. I was completely horrified, and a shudder ran through my body. I felt like my fingers were actually enmeshed in my own brain. I couldn't get free fast enough, and I dropped the clump on the floor like it was covered in spiders. I can't even look at kanekalon anymore.
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