Catch 22

When writing cover letters to perspective employers, you have to walk a very fine line. Yes, you want to come across as honest and sincere, but not to the point that it reads like a monologue from a group therapy session. This is especially true if you suffer from "word vomit" as I do, and you open your mouth and experience something like an out of body experience, witnessing in horror but powerless to stop the nonsense that comes spewing out. No way to clean it up. I am so acutely aware of this affliction, that I practice interview questions with my husband.

Example:

Husband: "Tell me about a time that you had to work with a person that was difficult to get along with, and how you made it work."

Me: "Oh, that's easy! My mother is mentally ill, and she is just completely impossible to get along with in any kind of way, so I just finally decided that rather than freaking out and screaming at her when she is unbearable and being in a psychotic rage every time I see her, I just stopped talking to her completely. I can't solve her problems. She's crazy."

Husband: "Um, that's a good start, but maybe you shouldn't tell them right off the bat that mental illness runs in your family."

Me: "Oh. I see what you mean."

Word vomit.

So, I have bad grades. Honestly, they are miserable. And I can use the cover letter I send with my resume to explain any "extenuating circumstances" that would explain my sub-optimal performance this year. I have the best, most iron clad excuse, but show me a person that ever got a job by opening with, "My grades suffered this year because I had brain surgery, and suffer from legitimate anxiety that my brain may bleed at any moment."

Word vomit.

I think one of the most difficult things about this illness is the irony.